Snap Decision
by Cha-Cha-Cheesecake
Summary: What they would never know would be forever lost in that moment she stared out of the window at the garden. Back when they had one another, and one another they had. In that nonsensical sense, it was a blessing.  Hatori/Tohru


Summary: What the two didn't know, they would never know. It would forever be lost in that moment she stared out of the window at the garden, melting into spring like she'd laughed about all those times ago. Back when they had one another, and one another they had. In that nonsensical sense, it was a blessing. [Hatori/Tohru]

Snap Decision

"_Don't change, Hatori. Know your heart."_

Tohru Honda entered the room, face pale and withdrawn. Today would not be an easy day for her.

Hatori Sohma pulled on his coat and stared down at his shaking fingertips. Today would not be an easy day for him.

The two exchanged nods, greeted each other, even though the tension was unmistakable. She knew he was disappointed in her. He knew she was crying out for help.

What the two didn't know, they would never know. It would forever be lost in that moment she stared out of the window at the garden, melting into spring like she'd laughed about all those times ago.

Back when they had one another, and one another they had. In that nonsensical sense, it was a blessing.

"Please, Hatori. Don't be scared." Her voice was soft, but he saw the brittleness, saw the cracks.

"Why would I be scared…?" He hid his eyes from her; he didn't want her to see the fog clouding his partial vision.

"It must be so hard to do…" She squeezed her hands together, staring down at her now flat stomach. Remembering the vessel that had been there. And the grave.

"It'll be no different from erasing anybody else's memories. It's simply another day." His voice was harsh, the anger hiding the hurt. And that, most of all, broke her heart.

"…I wanted our baby to live, Hatori," she whispered, and he felt the tears build up in his eyes, like bricks to a wall. "I tried so hard to keep it all together, but I'm not like you, or anybody else. I'm weak, Hatori. I'm weak-hearted, spineless. I'm scared of what the future holds, scared of feeling that pain every day…"

"How could you? How could you be scared, after all you've been through?" He began to yell, unable to hold back his tears any longer. "Your mother has been killed! Your father died when you were small, you've been mercilessly hurt and pressured by Akito, and this whole time you've been so amazing, holding together steadily and being grateful for what you're given! So why? Why now…?" His voice cracked and he hugged his knees, resting his head as reality hit home.

"Why can't you see how much I love you? Why can't you just let me love you, and love me back? You only became close to me to study me as I worked, you didn't… you didn't ever truly become close to me out of love."

"Hatori…" She drew a hand to her mouth, eyes glassy. "Hatori, I… I…"

"You're not…" He choked out her name, the pain overwhelming. "You're not Kana…!"

Her face again. Smiling, fine hair swirling round her cheekbones as she turned to talk to him. Chattering away, getting closer and closer until he felt as though he were to snap from hiding himself from her. Kana. Kana. Kana.

"You're not Kana… you're not Kana…" He held onto his head, as though parts of it would come away in his hands if he let go. "You're not like Kana. You never loved me so much that you'd die for me. You never cried with me, never showed me the kind of mixed feelings she showed me." He squeezed his lips together, but the sobs kept escaping, words kept flowing out like torrents of sadness had been building up for years. They probably had.

Today was supposed to be a day like any other. Tohru Honda was supposed to have been a client like any other. And yet, he'd fallen in love.

They'd touched each other, held each other… they'd slept together, each too shocked to talk about it afterwards. Tohru had fallen pregnant without him realising, only shortly before her birth putting two and two together that the child was in fact his.

And then, hurt. Death. Crying.

He let his arms fall limply to his sides and she rocked him gently, his head resting on her shoulder. Hatori stared out of the window blankly, vision eventually focusing on the small tombstone resting in the garden.

'Daichi Sohma, a blessing too great for life itself' read the tombstone.

Yes… Daichi Sohma, the son that never was supposed to be. Well, he was gone now. The problem was over, like it should've been always.

Yet why did it sting so much?

Maybe because that baby would've been a chance for them to play house. Pretend to love one another and be happy while that child was growing up, unknowing of the secret held by it's parents.

"I just wanted us to be something special."

He lifted his head and stared weakly at Tohru Honda, her face creased with sadness. And yet, soon she wouldn't even remember this day. She wouldn't remember a thing.

"…Hatori…"

The Sohma family, to her, would be nothing more than a name in a phonebook. But to him, Tohru Honda would always be brave, strong-willed and unfavourably kind. She'd always be the girl to pull him out of his hurting state after the loss of Kana. She'd always be his second love. And probably his last.

"Are you ready?" She hesitated, then nodded, kneeling down in front of him. As he placed a shaking hand over her forehead, the tears began to fall.

"I'm sorry, Hatori," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I messed everything up… I'm sorry for being weak, and for not loving you the way you love me. I…" She bit her lip, shaking her head slowly. "…I'm sorry I won't mourn over our baby like you will."

That was all he needed to hear to make a snap decision.

His grip on her face tightened and she let out a gasp as she fell back, her memories being released into the atmosphere as her eyes fluttered to a close.

"…I'm sorry too, Tohru." He watched her chest rise and fall and rested his head against her midsection, hoping to hear the beating heart of his child, his child he'd never see again.

"…I'm sorry, Little One. Daichi Sohma. The blessing to great for life itself." He slowly lifted Tohru up, carrying her back to a guest room in the main house. She would be awoken the next day, told she has suffered amnesia and that they had simply sheltered her because she'd collapsed. Tohru Honda would never have to know the dark secret he would forever be burdened with.

"It's just another day," he murmured to himself, staring at the grey clouds swirling above him. "Just another day of rain."

**A/N: **This is my first Fruba fanfic on this account x3

Sorry it's so short. Sorry it's depressing. Sorry if you don't ship this couple. But inspiration hit, and you can't ignore inspiration, can you? No, no you can't.

Review? Please?


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